Brian Brijbag

A Legal Meditation on Infidelity, Stadium Screens, and the Dumbest Way to Get Caught

Section 210, Allegiant Stadium.
A Coldplay concert.
Two adults – married, but not to each other – caught mid-affair on the kiss cam, smiling like co-conspirators who thought the jumbo screen was just a rumor.

He’s a CEO.
She’s the HR Director.
And their side quest just got turned into a public cinema event, complete with crowd reaction and TikTok distribution rights.

The question is not whether they’re guilty.
It’s whether the law offers remedy for the collateral damage – emotional, reputational, and karmic.

So let’s ask it plainly:

Can anyone sue?
And better yet: can we all judge?

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I. The Tort of Terrible Choices

Let’s dust off the doctrine of Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED), which legally translates to:

“You knew this would ruin someone’s life and you did it anyway, you emotionally reckless jackal.”

To succeed in court, one must show:

1. Outrageous conduct
2. Intent or reckless disregard
3. Severe emotional distress
4. Direct causation

So let’s go full brief:

• Outrageous conduct? Cheating is old news. But cheating at a Coldplay concert, in matching smiles, on a 60-foot stadium screen, while presumably telling your actual spouse you were “working late”? That’s not just outrageous. That’s legally Shakespearean.
• Intent or recklessness? Unless they thought the kiss cam only activated for couples with moral clarity, there’s no plausible deniability. This was calculated oblivion.
• Severe emotional distress? Imagine being one of their actual spouses, scrolling TikTok, only to find your partner on the jumbotron playing tonsil hockey during “A Sky Full of Stars.” You don’t need a therapist to confirm trauma. You just need the comment section.
• Causation? Direct. Clear. With a full backing track and stadium acoustics.

Verdict? Prima facie emotional catastrophe.
Whether it survives a motion to dismiss is anyone’s guess – but it survives in the group chat forever.

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II. HR Policy, Meet Public Morality Clause

This wasn’t just betrayal.
This was inter-office betrayal.
A CEO and an HR director engaging in horizontal integration while Coldplay’s lyrics begged for mercy.

Let’s get corporate for a second:
Most companies have policies prohibiting “relationships that create conflicts of interest.” Few policies cover “don’t get outed on the kiss cam at a stadium show while both of you are married and legally compromised.”

Now they’re not just at risk of divorce filings, but potentially:

• Employment consequences
• Shareholder scandal
• Ethics reviews
• And the eternal wrath of LinkedIn

In short, they’ve turned Section 210 into Exhibit A in every future HR seminar about What Not to Do While Representing the Brand.

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III. A Cease-and-Desist Letter for the Cheaters of Coldplay

RE: Your Reckless and Publicly Displayed Affair

To: The CEO-HR Duo Caught on the Kiss Cam
From: Counsel for the Bystanders Traumatized by Your Smugness

Dear Sir and Madam:

You are hereby instructed to immediately:

1. Cease public displays of adultery at emotionally charged musical events.
2. Desist from turning “HR Compliance” into a tragicomedy.
3. Submit your playlists for audit. Any Coldplay tracks found will be deleted in protest.
4. Issue apologies – handwritten, notarized, and ideally sung in falsetto – to your spouses, your board of directors, and everyone in Section 209 who had to watch this unfold live.

Failure to comply will result in:

• Permanent kiss cam bans
• Internal investigations
• And TikTok tribunal review

Govern yourselves like people with secrets worth keeping.

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IV. Final Arguments (and A Song of Icarus in Business Casual)

Can they be sued?
Technically – yes.
For emotional distress, reputational harm, breach of fiduciary duty if this bleeds into the workplace. Even defamation-by-association if their spouses become collateral TikTok characters.

But the real punishment isn’t legal.

It’s cultural.

They didn’t just cheat.
They cheated in surround sound.
They made their affair a shared public experience.
They weaponized the kiss cam.

And now, they will forever be known not just as unfaithful – but spectacularly stupid.

So let us end with this:

Chris Martin once sang, “Nobody said it was easy.”

But also, nobody said cheat with your co-worker during a globally televised concert either.